Mid-week Humor

So yesterday I was putting this little bit together for you, my dear readers. Thanks for following this blog and patiently waiting for the next chapter preview to come out. This particular post is supposed to be humorous, although it might ring true in certain areas of life, and I’m thinking about having some of the characters use different parts of this in humorous dialogue, so we’ll see. With that in mind, I give you:

The Preparedness Chart


The “How Fucked are You?” Guide

The Depths of Oblivion  – You are so fucked, you don’t even know how fucked you are, you haven’t even considered the fact that your fucked. That’s how fucked you are.

Call of Duty PWNed Star – Having played endless hours of shooter games, you are lulled into a false belief that you have the tactical prowess of a Navy Seal. Fuck preparedness, I can out maneuver anyone who comes my way!

Post Apocalypse Now – You’ve watched “I Am Legend”, “The Walking Dead”, “The Book of Eli” or some other-post apocalyptic movie and you’ve thought about what would happen to you if you were in that situation but laugh it off by saying “Well, I’d be fucked!” and then go about your business, still not knowing how fucked you are, but at least you considered it.

Oh Shit, I’m Fucked! – Having seriously considered “bad” situations happening, natural disasters, living “without rule of law”, etc. You realize that you are fucked, badly. You’d like to do something, but you really don’t know where to begin. You buy a gun, a case of MREs and some water, then watch The Walking Dead.

O.K., I’m Fucked…now what? – Having moved past the MREs, water and gun purchase, you go out and get all the awesome tacti-cool shit you can. modifications to your rifle, all the Multi-cam you could ever want, some more ammo and you visit the rifle range once a year.

The Pits of Despair – While balancing family life, work, etc., with trying to prepare your family and loved ones for bad times, you are overwhelmed, constantly, with the knowledge of how fucked you really are.

Pass the Lube Level – Having come up with a good three to six month supply of food storage, water purification & storage, etc., you have now been given a mental lubricant that eases the pain of just how fucked you are as you go about your day-to-day lives trying to build networks of mutual support & like-mindedness. You realize there is still a metric shit ton of things that need to be done, and more than likely, you’re fucked, but at least you are doing something to prolong said fucked-ness.

Which one did you like the most?

Have I missed any particular level?

Is there anything you would add to these levels of “fucked-ness”? If it’s funny/clever enough, I just may use it in the book!

Have a great Wednesday, and I hope you enjoyed the humor!


About JustTom

Acta Non Verba.
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